I think I am gender dysphoric, and have always had it all my life. I was born physically male, but I think that psychologically and emotionally I am female and I think my personal body image is that of a female. Despite that, I know my body is masculine and hairy, and I loathe it, and I prefer not to look at it or pay any attention to it.
Anyway, the introduction aside. I recently had the pleasure of venturing to a different culture, with traditional dress that distinguishes between male and female. It's a wonderful culture, but my dysphoria got in the way of enjoying it. They were offering to dress guests up in the traditional garb and they had a group of men helping the men out dressing up and a group of women helping the women out dressing up and they offered to dress me up in the men's garb, but I didn't want to at all--I wanted to dress up in the women's garb and be with the women. I thought about asking to dress up with the women, but I knew that it would just cause people to look at me weird, detract from their viewing me as a woman, and just cause me to look like a freak or like I'm mocking the culture. So I separated myself from the situation and just did my own thing, even though I knew I would look like an arrogant Westerner.
Even here in the West I've had this and for as long as I remembered, even while my dysphoria wasn't to a conscious level. For example, I've had to dress up in a suit and a tie for various events and it seemed like it would be fun to dress up and be formal, but in the end I hated how I looked and I hated how others interacted with me and perceived me while I was in it--I just wanted to go back to my androgynous informal clothing where I was comfortable.
Can others share their experiences?
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